You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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