Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
