Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
