so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
