The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
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