College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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