Christians are straight up FREAKS
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
