Betty ford says i'm here all night
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Randomize
