just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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