I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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