Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
