Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
