Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
