I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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