let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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