U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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