drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
