dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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