Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Fuck appropriateness.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
