I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
you never un-have a 4some
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
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