Three words: puerto rican gang bang
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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