Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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