That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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