His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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