I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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