There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
