Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
