some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
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