Christians are straight up FREAKS
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
