We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
