She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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