I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
