What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Randomize
