can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
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