Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Is this like a preordered booty call?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
