I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
