whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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