Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Randomize
