I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
