I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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