Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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