i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
