i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Randomize
