That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
