it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize