Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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