I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
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