walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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