Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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