on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
