come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Randomize
