..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
