You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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